The beginning - I join Grindr looking for my husband

No, really. That's how it started. I joined Grindr looking for my husband. You see, I married my husband last year. He was meant to come live with me. He never came, and completely shut me out. Telling my friends about this, they told me they had seen him on Grindr before. Not just recently, but even from before we were married. Now, Grindr is not just any innocent dating app. It's notorius for being the app where gay men hook up for casual sex. That my husband had been on it for some time, was quite shocking. 


 In the end I heard nothing from my husband. No answers to my emails, calls, texts. He was in a different country as well. I wondered if he was still on Grindr and if so, maybe I could expose him on there. Even though he had not talked to me for a long time, and I suspected he had now moved in with his male "daddy" lover, we were still married. In fact, it's quite a combination: married, in a clandestine relationship with another man, and still looking for casual hookups. So I created a fake profile. I quickly found my husband. There he was...easy to recognize profile but no photo. I started chatting. Said I was moving to the same city. He responded. Sent me a few photos. Yep, definitely him. I asked what he was looking for. He said "fun". In the world of Grindr, that can only mean one thing: sex. So there it was, he was on there. I decided to tell him who I was and that I knew he was on there, and that I knew he had been on there from before we were even married. After some minutes waiting, a vague response ticked in. He did not know what to say and had been trying for so long to find the right words. Not that I really believed any of it. I did get a response though, but not the response I was looking for and hoped for. Instead, just excuses. 

 So there I was, with a profile on Grindr, still married, to a husband using the same app. 

 So what happened next? I tried hookups. Didn't really like it. Oh, and I divorced my now ex-husband. You can read the whole story "Help! I married a narcissist!" here.

Comments

Post a Comment

Most viewed

Help! I Married a Narcissist!

Image
I really thought I had met the one . I married him. I thought we would be so happy together. Little did I know our seemingly happy relationship was to be destroyed by a deep dark secret, and I would be the subject of torment and emotional pain for years to come. The hotel room where I first met Lwanda. July 2015. How it all began: The website advert. July, 2015 .   Cold, still so very tired from my jetlag, and  The first few messages on WhatsApp. July 2015. hungry I stumble out on the balcony of my hotel room in Amanzimtoti, near Durban in South Africa. It's winter but the sun is still shining, warming my cold body. Somehow wishing I wasn't so jetlagged from my travels to the US the week before, I go back into my room, make a cup of coffee and take my laptop out on the balcony. Travelling on business to South Africa, I decided to take a detour afterwards and ge
Read more

(Unofficial) Grindr FAQ

Image
Based on my own experiences as well as topics I see users are searching for when coming across my blog I decided to start an unofficial FAQ for Grindr. I hope it's helpful to some people. How do I stay safe when on Grindr? It comes down to this: a degree of mutual trust. You must trust the person you are meeting and the other way round. Still, there are things you can do to protect yourself.  See my Top Tips for Staying Safe here! I can't access Grindr and get an error message "Please check your connection settings and try again" First, check:  1) are you actually online and connected to the internet?  2) are you using the latest version of the app? If not, updating it may help. Updating to the newest version seems to fix most issues! The reason you get this error message is because there has been an error in communication between your Grindr app, and their servers. Sometimes it seems to be caused by the Internet connection you
Read more

Stay safe when using gay hookup apps like Grindr

Image
So - how do you avoid ending up in some guy's dungeon all tied up? How can you stay safe when using dating and hookup apps like Grindr, Tinder, Blued, Hornet and Romeo?  NEVER EVER: Give out your phone number. Use Snapchat or Telegram if you want to chat outside an app like Grindr and Tinder, since it works by exchanging usernames not phone numbers. Tell anyone any details which could be used to identify who you really are This includes handles on social media!  Tell anyone your last name. If you want, also make up a first name. Tell anyone your address or use the "send my location" feature available in some apps Give out any identifying details like where you work, who you work for, or which gym you go to CONSIDER: Protecting yourself against sexually transmitted diseases. No one is "clean". You can never ever know for sure what they have or don't have. Use a condom. Ev
Read more