My life on Grindr

The 1999 film (now famously starring Ru Paul) "But I'm a cheerleader" portrays a girl who is your average All-American cheerleader - but also happens to like girls. "I get good grades, I go to church - I'm a cheerleader!" the main character Megan exclaims. However, following the  discovery she does in fact like girls "that way", a lot of cognitive dissonance ensues. Megan really thought she was was a certain way.  And that is also what I was thinking when, one day, I discovered I was a co-dependent. No, actually, a Co-Dependent with capital letters. This discovery completely shattered the image I had of myself and I had to re-evaluate who I really am, what made me the way I am and how I could move on with my life.  What made me end up in the therapists's comfy chair was that a few years ago  I married a guy who was clearly somewhere on the narcissistic spectrum. To my surprise I discovered that is the worst combination you could have bet...

I really thought I had met the one . I married him. I thought we would be so happy together. Little did I know our seemingly happy relationship was to be destroyed by a deep dark secret, and I would be the subject of torment and emotional pain for years to come. The hotel room where I first met Lwanda. July 2015. How it all began: The website advert. July, 2015 .   Cold, still so very tired from my jetlag, and  The first few messages on WhatsApp. July 2015. hungry I stumble out on the balcony of my hotel room in Amanzimtoti, near Durban in South Africa. It's winter but the sun is still shining, warming my cold body. Somehow wishing I wasn't so jetlagged from my travels to the US the week before, I go back into my room, make a cup of coffee and take my laptop out on the balcony. Travelling on business to South Africa, I decided to take a detour afterwards and g...