My life on Grindr

Grindr has long since removed the Ethnicity Filter from its app. Still, every day there are a handful of users who are still looking for it. The search log for this article includes " grindr bring back ethnicity filter",  " dating apps that filter ethnicity" and even the somewhat questionable search term "race filter grindr".  The Ethnicity filter on Grindr let you include/exclude profiles based on their ethnicity such as Black, White and Latino. In the same search log I also spotted one person who searched for "how to find generous guys on grindr". Whoever you are - it is more likely that someone generous is a mature gentleman than a "guy" and no there is no way of searching for gentlemen with a solid bank account on Grindr. Sorry. Grindr doesn't even allow the word "generous" in the profile text. Back to the filter . Somet

I married a narcissist who had led a double life seeing another man behind my back for years. One day he just discarded me. That was five years ago and now I want to share what I learned along the way.  Lwanda and I in happier times. San Francisco, April 2017. Today it's nearly 5 years since my life was completely changed. Turned upside down. It was in the summer of 2015 I met Lwanda. You can read the whole story in my post "Help! I married a narcissist!" . The short story is that I met what I thought was a wonderful young black guy, we got together and had what I thought was a wonderful relationship which led to us marrying. I really wanted to be with him for the rest of my life. Sadly he did not and had already secured someone else behind my back and had a relationship in parallel with him for several years. I gradually found out about all of this but to this day I have not had any explanation whatsoeve

The 1999 film (now famously starring Ru Paul) "But I'm a cheerleader" portrays a girl who is your average All-American cheerleader - but also happens to like girls. "I get good grades, I go to church - I'm a cheerleader!" the main character Megan exclaims. However, following the  discovery she does in fact like girls "that way", a lot of cognitive dissonance ensues. Megan really thought she was was a certain way.  And that is also what I was thinking when, one day, I discovered I was a co-dependent. No, actually, a Co-Dependent with capital letters. This discovery completely shattered the image I had of myself and I had to re-evaluate who I really am, what made me the way I am and how I could move on with my life.  What made me end up in the therapists's comfy chair was that a few years ago  I married a guy who was clearly somewhere on the narcissistic spectrum. To my surprise I discovered that is the worst combination you could have bet