My life on Grindr

I married a narcissist who had led a double life seeing another man behind my back for years. One day he just discarded me. That was five years ago and now I want to share what I learned along the way.  Lwanda and I in happier times. San Francisco, April 2017. Today it's nearly 5 years since my life was completely changed. Turned upside down. It was in the summer of 2015 I met Lwanda. You can read the whole story in my post "Help! I married a narcissist!" . The short story is that I met what I thought was a wonderful young black guy, we got together and had what I thought was a wonderful relationship which led to us marrying. I really wanted to be with him for the rest of my life. Sadly he did not and had already secured someone else behind my back and had a relationship in parallel with him for several years. I gradually found out about all of this but to this day I have not had any explanation whatsoeve

The 1999 film (now famously starring Ru Paul) "But I'm a cheerleader" portrays a girl who is your average All-American cheerleader - but also happens to like girls. "I get good grades, I go to church - I'm a cheerleader!" the main character Megan exclaims. However, following the  discovery she does in fact like girls "that way", a lot of cognitive dissonance ensues. Megan really thought she was was a certain way.  And that is also what I was thinking when, one day, I discovered I was a co-dependent. No, actually, a Co-Dependent with capital letters. This discovery completely shattered the image I had of myself and I had to re-evaluate who I really am, what made me the way I am and how I could move on with my life.  What made me end up in the therapists's comfy chair was that a few years ago  I married a guy who was clearly somewhere on the narcissistic spectrum. To my surprise I discovered that is the worst combination you could have bet

So - how do you avoid ending up in some guy's dungeon all tied up? How can you stay safe when using dating and hookup apps like Grindr, Tinder, Blued, Hornet and Romeo?  NEVER EVER: Give out your phone number. Use Snapchat or Telegram if you want to chat outside an app like Grindr and Tinder, since it works by exchanging usernames not phone numbers. Tell anyone any details which could be used to identify who you really are This includes handles on social media!  Tell anyone your last name. If you want, also make up a first name. Tell anyone your address or use the "send my location" feature available in some apps Give out any identifying details like where you work, who you work for, or which gym you go to CONSIDER: Protecting yourself against sexually transmitted diseases. No one is "clean". You can never ever know for sure what they have or don't have. Use a condom. Ev